Your tits are I can't wait for
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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