but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
