I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
