To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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