whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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