from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
