textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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