Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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