I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
