I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
