But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
