I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
