apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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