i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
