last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
