i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
