i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
