I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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