if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
