i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
