all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
