guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
