Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
