thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
