He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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