Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
