So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
