She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
