He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
