God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
