There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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