Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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