I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
do nipples grow back?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
