WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
