I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
