how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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