You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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