dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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