dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"it" just moved
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
