I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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