Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
