just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
