His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
