He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
