it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
