i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
