Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
