trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
