Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab

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(336): View more from North Carolina

A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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(954): View more from Florida

Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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(503): View more from Oregon

And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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(817): View more from Texas

There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!

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(813): View more from Florida

Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.

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