I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
